What's The Rush?

I used to worry that suitcase-sized nuclear and even smaller biological weapons, capable of leveling entire cities and/or killing the millions that live there, are a reality and could be smuggled into all our areas of major population concentration relatively easily. I used to think it was crucial to America's safety and in her best interests to keep those kinds of technology out of the hands of radical tyrants, terrorists, and other loose cannons until I happened to see the red and blue colored 2000 election map again. The light went on.

Now I think perhaps America should not be so hasty and rush headlong into a war that "NOBODY," particularly liberal democrats, want and are desperately fighting. Perhaps America should be patient and forgiving and wait until the terrorists absolutely, unequivocally, beyond a shadow of a doubt make perfectly clear their intentions by wreaking havoc on all our major cities with non-existent Mid Eastern supplied nuclear and/or biological technology and weapons. Perhaps then we could go to the UN and beg for a resolution condemning the perpetrators after Hans Blix has had several years to investigate the situation and determine if there is, in fact, a guilty party or if America's cities and population centers were merely asking for it and simply brought it on themselves.

Should the UN get enough votes to determine that America was indeed attacked, then we should send a delegation consisting of Jimmy Carter, Bill and Hil Clinton, Tom Daschel, Ted Kennedy and a large contingent of actors and Hollywood illuminaries, provided any of them are still alive, to the perpetrators to apologize on their knees and ask why we all can't just "get along."

To be prudent, massive and utterly overwhelming response should be timed to arrive about fifteen minutes later when the tears are really flowing. As near as I can tell, the national crime rate would drop to near zero, we could stop pouring money into the "Big Dig", requirements for imported oil would diminish to nothing, a Hispanic might actually get confirmed to the DC Court and congress would operate much smoother.