A Normal Day

I haven't had much of an appetite today and just picked at supper. I did manage to work out all my soreness from the fencing job when the nail gun recoil knocked me ass over teakettle off the ladder while putting the last nail in my project. It's a good thing the nail gun has a double safety or it would have shot Herc right square in the butt with a 3 1/2" nail when it hit the ground. Then I would have a big vet bill and a really pissed off 200 pound mastiff looking for an explanation. I don't think anything I could have said would have been satisfactory. During the fall, the astonishing blur of contortions my gifted body automatically performed flawlessly to prevent catastrophic injury to itself was a sight to behold and removed any remaining soreness I had. I now have some new soreness. (Note to self: Don't put nail in anything with a pneumatic nail gun if it requires leaning the ladder more than 30 degrees.)

My new project was making a sturdy hard mount for the come-a-long to lift the mower so I could work under the deck. The hard mount and come-a-long works great. It is remarkable how easy formerly tough jobs can be when you can actually get to them with power tools. I replaced the lower spindle caps that were broken on the mower and discovered a nearly destroyed bearing. Not to be discouraged, I put the blades on and mowed a short time in the drizzle to check fit and function of the blades with the new caps. Apparently, very thick, 8 inch high grass was a good test. The blades did their job, but the mower deck belt self destructed. I bought a new bearing and a new belt and tomorrow is another day. :-)

The evening was spent moving a shelf in the basement and transferring overflow from the can racks to it. I had to install a light fixture in that area so Miz Dee could see what she was doing. Putting the fixture up and running the wire was a breeze. Connecting it to the last fixture in the line was a little problematic since the switch in the circuit is a single pole, single throw switch instead of a double pole, single throw. That meant that, even with the switch off, half the circuit was still hot. I must say that came as a quite a shock to me and damned near knocked my dingus in the dirt. I got the wires connected, but I was veeeeeeery careful doing it after that. When I finished and flipped the switch a glorious, golden glow surrounded Miz Dee and I was happy and, except for the numb arm and smoking hair, I was unharmed.

Getting a few scratches, cuts and abrasions during the course of a work day is normal for me, however, I wasn't quite prepared for the results I experienced when I filled my palm with Sea Breeze, a powerful astringent I use for an aftershave, rubbed my hands together and slapped it on my face. The normal razor scrapes over reacted and erupted in flames and my hands exploded in searing pain. Apparently, there were a few more and worse than normal scratches, cuts and abrasions than I thought on my hands as well as my face. I immediately performed a virtuoso Rain Dance with whoops and screeches of which any Hopi would have been proud. So good was my performance that I caused heavy rains and flooding in three counties. I regret that, but I am sure I benefited from the exercise.

As I was heading for the computer to do mail, I thought a cup of hot coffee would be great, but I just didn't think I could stand an accidental spill in my lap and settled for iced water instead.

---Bill Fortner 2009---