Wednesday, August 19, 2009

POL (Proof of Life) Report

I passed Monday night with only moderate childish whining and take some solace in knowing I am likely the only person to have survived shooting himself off a ladder and self induced electrocution in the same day.

I am busy inventorying my muscles and categorizing them by the degree of pain. Do you know I have already discovered 27 levels of excruciating agony, 9 levels of incredible anguish, 13 levels of throbbing misery and 6 levels of deep distress? That must be a Guiness record as well.

Tuesday, people walking within 10 feet of me at Wal-Mart began to experience sympathetic aches and pains.
---William Fortner 2009---

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